Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
