It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
