Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
