your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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