Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wish you could order shots online.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
