p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
ok first of all what the fuck
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
