i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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