i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
