So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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