he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
