what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I stole a fireplace last night.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
