It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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