Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
