Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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