I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
