Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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