Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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