i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
