I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
This house was built for laser tag.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
