I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
