sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I understand Curling. That high.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
