3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
