gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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