I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
