my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize