I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
