If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
