I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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