really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
