he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We need to get me chipped asap
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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