I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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