you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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