You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
