If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Everything about him screamed your future.
worst night to have a conscience
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
