im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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