Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
