Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.

Fav 10 2404 936
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(410): View more from Maryland

She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with

Fav 24 7452 2457
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(913): View more from Kansas

You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.

Fav 9 4803 1585
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(702): View more from Nevada

Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.

Fav 23 1339 5021
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is

Fav 7 3245 921
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you

Fav 9 1566 681
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(925): View more from California

michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.

Fav 2 1252 690
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(713): View more from Texas

Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?

Fav 0 48 6
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(512): View more from Texas

I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...

Fav 0 72 15
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