I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
