how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
