I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
