Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
what is it with giant penises always finding me
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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