Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Randomize
