I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
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