she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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