he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
