No, you can still breathe under the balls.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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