Yo dont text me then not text me
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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