Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
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