i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
