I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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